Sunday, May 02, 2010

Banda Aid - Cause This Is A Boo Boo


Mexicans + Lounge Lizard Clothing + Polka Music + Cowboys + MTV = Banda Bands

Not that you asked, but since you're here I'll tell you. In short "Banda Music" is a type of Polka music played by bands that are comprised of Mexican men who dress like lounge lizards and often wear cowboy hats. In the 1880's this type of Polka music was cast into the bowels of the earth by German occultists, and it clawed its way, through hell, only to unearth itself in the northwest state of Sinaloa, Mexico. It then proceeded to hypnotize the natives into thinking this dark carnival music was "Lo Maximo" i.e. "The Sh*t".

This is what "Banda" music sounds like:




Look... My mom is from Sinaloa Mexico, and that is where Mexican Banda Music originates. It's a good thing my mom doesn't use computers because she'd probably disown me for speaking less than spectacularly about Banda Music. But damn, I'm sorry mom! They dress like Lounge Lizards who are trying to outdo each other with how awful their "costumes" can be. Not even used car salesmen would wear the clothes that members of Banda Bands choose to wear. Here a few examples:



(Oh! My virgin eyes!)

Here is a long list of other Banda Groups

Banda Bands play Polka music. O.k? Tell me WHO likes Polka music? When is the last time you popped in a CD of Polka music? If you did pop in a Polka CD did you "jam out" to it? NO! You said "WTF!?" And you hit the eject button... And just because my mom is from Sinaloa MX and I'm of Mexican descent I'm supposed to like Banda Music?
See... I know people (like my brother) who are thinking that I'm "whacked" for not liking "Banda"... I KNOW these critics won't listen to it, but "Polka" branded as "Banda Music" is o.k. all of a sudden? The same way that like... You wouldn't eat blueberry cake in the morning, but... If that blueberry cake chit was called a "muffin" it would suddenly be alright to eat cake for breakfast? TRICK!


Perhaps one day I'll convert and start liking Banda music, for now I can't get past the Polka part.

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