Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Commercial Calculations of Human Folly

Starbucks has a "Refill Tumbler" this December for $49.95 in-which you can get a free coffee or tea (one per day) each day of January 2017. I know because I'm sitting at one of their tables and can see the display.

Back in the day (What if the day was actually a year? Or how about a band? I think of some dumb shit sometimes in between brilliant ideas!) my brother taught me all about this kinda monkey business.

As I stood in line behind the lady talking to the guy at the register, listening to how Publix doesn't allow bearded employees, and how the guy hates Publix because he has a beard. I did the math in my head about the tumbler using what my brother once taught me.

At $49.95 a tumbler that's about $1.70 per cup of coffee. If you drink coffee every day you'll save about 50 cents per cup every day. Not a bad deal eh? BUT, is the person who buys this thing going to come in here and drink burnt coffee every day? (That's what I'm having right now, good'ole Starbucks burnt coffee.) I don't think they'll make it in every day, well not most people. I believe there's someone at Starbucks headquarters who knows this. Someone with a history in insurance, I'm sure. And, they've figured out what percentage of people will lose this fucking thing, and what percentage of people will give out before they can handle cup after cup, back to back, day after day of enthusiastically roasted coffee?

I guarantee you that human folly is calculated into deals like this.

Nonetheless, happy holidays!

Namaste motherfucker.

P.S. Feel free to check out my podcast: http://atlanticradio.blogspot.com/